What Addiction Experts Wish Every Parent Knew
What Parents Need to Know About Teens and Substance Use
Parenting is one of the hardest jobs there is — and perhaps never more so than today. Kids don’t come with manuals, and many parents instinctively rely on how they were raised to guide them. But the world has changed dramatically in just a couple of decades, and today’s youth are growing up in a far more complex landscape.
Social media, academic pressure, unrealistic body standards, and constant exposure to world events have reshaped the emotional environment of childhood and adolescence. In this environment, some teens turn to drugs or alcohol — not just to rebel or "experiment," but often as a way to cope, fit in, or self-medicate.
As a therapist who works with families and individuals navigating addiction and recovery, here are three essential things I wish every parent knew:
1. Delay Matters: The Longer Kids Stay Substance-Free, the Better
One of the most protective things a parent can do is help delay the onset of substance use.
Studies have consistently shown that the earlier a child begins using drugs or alcohol, the greater their risk of developing an addiction. For instance, nearly 40% of people who began drinking at age 14 or younger eventually developed alcohol dependence, compared to just 10% who waited until 21.
Why? The adolescent brain is still under construction — especially in areas related to judgment, impulse control, and emotional regulation. Substances can disrupt this development, increasing vulnerability to long-term mental health and addiction issues.
🡒 What you can do: Keep communication open. Be clear about your expectations, set boundaries around substance use, and model healthy coping strategies. Every year you delay your child’s exposure reduces their risk.
2. The “European Approach” Doesn’t Work
Some parents believe that letting kids have small sips of alcohol at home teaches moderation and takes the mystery out of drinking. While this may seem logical, research tells a different story.
A long-term study of middle schoolers found that those who were allowed to sip alcohol at home were four times more likely to binge drink in high school. And despite popular belief, youth in many European countries report higher rates of underage drinking and earlier intoxication than their American peers.
🡒 The message kids actually hear may not be, “drink responsibly,” but “my parents are okay with me drinking.”
It’s worth remembering that how you talk about alcohol and substances now helps shape how your child sees them in the future.
3. Substance Use May Be a Symptom — Not the Problem
It's easy to assume that teens use drugs or alcohol out of curiosity or peer pressure. But substance use is often a signal of something deeper, such as:
Anxiety or depression
Social isolation
Unresolved trauma or family conflict
Low self-esteem or emotional dysregulation
Adolescence is also a time when many mental health symptoms first emerge. Without the language or tools to express what they’re going through, teens often reach for what feels like quick relief — and substances can fill that role.
🡒 Pay attention to changes in mood, sleep, appetite, social connection, or school performance. If something feels “off,” trust your gut and consider having a conversation.
Support Is Available
If you're concerned about your child’s relationship with drugs or alcohol — or if you simply want guidance on how to strengthen your connection — working with a therapist can help. Together, we can explore the “why” behind the behavior, build healthier communication, and support your family’s wellbeing.
You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Reach out today to schedule a consultation — I’m here to support you and your family every step of the way.